Topic Rotation

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We rotate through 14 topics, and insert a bonus topic every 8th week.

Every class is a drop-in, so there's no beginning point or end point to the topic rotation. 

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You can drop in any week. Each class is designed to stand alone. 

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If you'd like to know which topic is coming next, and the dates of the following 4 to 8 weeks of classes, please subscribe to the weekly reminder email. This will simultaneously subscribe you to our monthly newsletter.

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• Connected Conversation Process​​

  • ​An immediately useful process for tough conversations with another person who's also willing to give the process a try

  • A tool for instantly building skill with listening

  • A framework for building intimacy with someone - getting to know each other more deeply

  • A communication "container" that gives you a place to practice your new skills and awareness as you learn

  • A touchstone class in our 14-week rotation at the Monday night Communication Dojo - a chance to practice skills from other weeks you've attended

• Listening with Empathy compared with other Common Communication Choices - There are many ways we respond that do not give the person speaking the experience of being heard. We'll look at these common communication choices and discuss when they're useful, when they're not, and how to respond to others when they do things like giving advice, telling their own story or expressing their opinions when all you want is to be heard and understood. 

• Empathy Guesses - Deepening the quality of your listening and getting to understand what's most important to the person speaking. Empathic listening increases your capacity to connect and strengthen your relationship with those you want to be close to. It also allows you to build a foundation of shared humanity with those who see things differently than you, from which fresh thinking and new outcome can emerge...outcomes that honor the needs of all involved. 

• Evaluation/Judgment/Blame and other flavors of "Pointy Communication" vs Observation & Ownership Language  Expressing yourself with evaluations, judgments, blame and other "pointy" modes of communication will simply invite defensiveness on the part of the person you're talking to. This makes things less connected, less efficient and less likely to lead to changes that you'll enjoy. This evening we'll look more closely at this, and at more empowered and connecting ways of expressing yourself.

• NEW "Umbrella" or "Finger-Pointing" Feelings When we tell someone that we feel "abandoned" or "rejected" or "manipulated," etc., it's very likely that they will start to defend themselves against a perceived accusation. An argument often follows that might resemble this exchange: "I'm not rejecting you," "Yes, you are," "No, I'm not." This evening we'll look at different ways of hearing and expressing these kinds of words, without getting into the well-worn argument about them.   

• Bonus Class Topic TBD 

• Needs into Action - OK, even if I know what my needs are, and what the other person's needs are, now what? What if our needs seem to be in conflict? How does awareness of our needs help us resolve conflict and take effective action where it's needed? 

• Self-Connection - 90% of effective communication is about self-connection. This week and next we'll focus on "The Ladder Questions" - a powerful tool for self-connection. Figure out what's going on inside you! If you're not connected to what's going on in you, it's hard to connect with anyone else to a satisfying degree. 

• Transforming Enemy images - if you see someone else as an enemy, or as an obstacle, or as "wrong," it affects your communication with that person and diminishes your power to connect. It's possible to be fully empowered without maintaining the view of the other person as an enemy. 

• Self-Expression IQ - Empowered self-expression from the heart - with authenticity, compassion, strength and courage.

• Beginning of the End of Blame - The power of self-responsibility. Self-Expression "IIQ from the heart." 

• Making Requests - Do you ask for what you want? How do you know you're making a request not a demand? How can you make your requests more clear and effective? 

• NEW NEW TOPIC IN THE REGULAR ROTATION - Topic TBD

• Bonus Class Topic TBD

• Anger & The Pause - How to respond most effectively when anger derails your attempts at communication. What is your anger trying to tell you? How does it differ from other emotions?

• Inner Critic & Inner Conflict - Your inner critic is a friend with a communication problem. It's wise not to take what it says as literal truth, but it's important that you get the useful message it's trying to give. If you don't get the message the inner critic tends to persist, and even to ramp up the signal, leading to a state of internal conflict. Internal conflict often leads to more external conflict with others, and that can lead to even more inner criticism. Let's all get out of that destructive cycle, and replace it with the new, constructive cycle of "Mourn, Celebrate, Learn." 

Previous "BONUS CLASS" topics:

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• Fuel for Life! Gratitude and appreciation, and how they differ from praise and compliments. How to make gratitude fuel in your life.

• Apology, Interdependence and Right/Wrong thinking - How do you respond when someone says "I need you to say you're sorry!" Do you ever demand an apology? Where does apologizing fit into a world view that does not make use of the ideas of right and wrong?

• Communication in Couples - What are some of the common communication challenges, patterns and alternatives within intimate relationships?

• Healing Role Plays - Is there someone you'd love to have a positive conversation with, but cannot? It might be someone who you've tried to speak to before, but found the results painful or unsatisfying. It could be someone who refuses to speak to you, or refuses to talk about the topics you want to discuss. It could be someone who is no longer alive. You might be amazed by the healing that can come for you through role playing this conversation using Connected Communication.

• The EGO - "Why are you talking about your needs again? It's all about you! You think you're so important, but really you've just go a huge ego!" What do we see when we look at the idea of "ego" through an NVC lens? What's the meaning underneath judgments like "egotistical"? Are some fundamental human needs actually "needs of the ego"?

• Meeting Needs: From Scarcity to Creativity - Each person has distinct ways of experiencing their needs as met in deep and satisfying ways. Yet we sometimes live with unmet needs for prolonged periods of time. How do you bring about change in relationships where your needs do not feel met? How do you move out of a sense of stuckness and scarcity and refocus your attention on what you want to bring into your life? How do you meet the needs of others in a way that feels fulfilling for them? This class will help you get in touch with what makes you feel most alive in connecting with others and provide tools for tending to your needs and the needs of others in a way that brings deeper satisfaction.

• Your Unanswered Questions and Obstacles - What are your challenges or areas of confusion? What is proving to be an obstacle or stuck place for you in integrating Nonviolent Communication in your life? In this bonus class we're going to throw the doors open to any questions you have about communication in general and NVC in particular. We also invite your stories on how NVC has "worked" or "not worked" for you. And we'd also love to hear your doubts or hesitations about NVC. We'll create spontaneous exercises and discussions based on the questions and shares we receive.

• NVC and Dating - How do we navigate the world of dating with authenticity and care? How can we gain clarity about what we are looking for, stay in touch with our needs, and co-create encounters, experiences and connections where these needs can be met?  How do we get in touch with our desires and boundaries and stay within them to protect ourselves from the emotional fallout of dating? This class will provide tools for self-connection that will support you with communication during dating, whether it is in initiating connections, hearing and saying no, and having conversations that are potentially awkward and difficult with honesty and care for yourself and others.

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